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5 Ways to Feel Sexy After Cancer

5 Ways to Feel Sexy After Cancer

February 9, 2016 | Author: Natalie Hatjes
Legs Beat Cancer Blog

There are certain experiences in life that are by nature transformative, and when you come out the other side, you cannot go back to the way things were. You are forever changed. Cancer is such an experience.

The doctor utters those few yet powerful words “you have cancer,” and nothing is the same again. Ever.

Once the dust begins to settle from that kind of fallout, you look around and start to take stock of your life.  Among the many questions and considerations is how to make a new mosaic out of the shattered pieces of a life that once was; a life you thought you knew.  A life that was familiar, unlike this new uncharted territory you are faced with.  And whilst no one can take the pieces and form the mosaic for you, there are guidelines and resources that can help.  It’s not easy, but it is possible.

Restoring intimacy after cancer is a crucial part of healing, even without a partner.  It includes loving yourself, accepting yourself, and honoring yourself. When you look in the mirror, what do you see?  What do you feel?  What you may not realize is that sexual healing is a mind, body, and soul connection.

According to a 2014 study published in The Oncologist, 30%-100% of female cancer survivors experience sexual dysfunction post treatment.  You are not alone in this.    Many women also share the same concerns, mostly due to body image or fear of their partner not finding them attractive anymore.  Some common concerns are scarring, weight loss/gain, hair loss, lopsided breasts from reconstruction, lack of nipple stimulation, and much more.  It is reassuring, however, that with intervention, up to 70% of those women can have improved sexual functioning.

Feeling like a woman is very important when it comes to sexual confidence.

5 Ways to Feel Sexy After Cancer:

  1. Purchase some nice lingerie that you feel sexy in.  This lingerie can cover your scars that make you feel insecure until you are more comfortable.  If you are looking for a sexy post mastectomy bra, you can find them at
  2. Put on some sexy music and dance!  Dancing gets the blood flowing and also helps you to tone your body.
  3. Explore!  Explore your body from your head to your toes.  You can do this alone or with a partner.  Use a blindfold for extra stimulation.
  4. Put on makeup.  Get dolled up!  Do mascara and lip-gloss make you feel sexy? Putting on makeup is a great way to lift your spirits.
  5. Take a candlelit bath.  The lighting will make you feel sexy, and you will get out of the bath with amazing skin.  Try a nice body scrub and lather up with coconut oil when you get out.

Your mindset plays a big role in the way you feel about sex and being intimate with your partner.  If you are constantly pointing out your insecurities, you are going to end up causing your partner to focus on them also, and chances are, he [or she] didn’t even notice!

Understanding your body and your new “normal” can be achieved. As an experienced sexuality educator, I am pleased to send you a free E-Guide with 5 Tips to Reconnecting With Your Body. I have also created a comprehensive 8 Week Online Course, Reconnect, Restore, Reclaim:  A Holistic Approach to Intimacy After Cancer.  This program covers mind, body and soul and allows women to relax, reconnect to their bodies, and restore their femininity. I invite you to transform your life, invest in your sexual health, and improve your love life with a discount code of BC2016.  Let’s go on this journey together.  I am here to hold your hand and guide you to a new loving space.

Editor’s Note: There are a few assumptions in this article that may limit its appeal to our diverse readership, so to broaden its scope, I add the following observations:

  • Male cancer survivors can suffer from lack of intimacy too.
  • Sometimes lack of intimacy and poor self image pre-exist the cancer and contribute to an emotional environment that can actually help initiate the disease.
  • There are many other types of dysfunction that can occur during or after cancer treatment. Our readers may wish to review natural approaches to minimizing these side effects in our Chemotherapy-Radiation Tipsheets.
  • “After cancer” implies that the disease ends when the treatment does, but we believe the entire body chemistry needs to be repaired before we can really think of cancer in the past tense.  To help you prevent cancer spread or recurrence, Beat Cancer counselors can teach you how to change your inner environment to one unfriendly to cancer.

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Natalie Hatjes is the owner of Tiger Blossom Boutique and Love Chat with Nat and is a sexuality educator specializing in intimacy after illness. She has spoken for numerous breast cancer organizations and support groups and has over 12 years experience working with women, helping them to reconnect to their body, restore femininity, and increase sexual confidence.